Today I went to one of my closest friend’s (Eric) father’s funeral. While it was definitely a sad occasion, I was encouraged by all the great words that so many people had to say about Mr Hollis. Cars were lined up on both sides all the way down the street and the church was packed with people who came to pay their respect. I will always remember Mr Hollis as my friend’s hilarious father. Whenever I was around him he always had me in stitches as he had jokes for days and his delivery was perfect! However, he in fact, was so much more than that. I learned that he was a father figure to so many other people who he had no blood relation to. There were stories about him stepping up in many ways from giving timely advice to various men and women – to giving people rides to work to help them keep their jobs – to taking care of fellow church members who were elderly, and much much more…
The most profound moment happened when Eric’s daughter (the granddaughter) got up and poured her heart into the song “Take Me To The King” by Tamela Mann. Right before the end she broke down and couldn’t sing anymore. Her father went up to the podium, hugged her and brought her back to her seat right next to him. That moment was so powerful to me that it made me tear up and in a way I could feel the very hug that they shared together. It was an incredible moment.
After the service, Eric jumped in the car with me and instead of going directly to the repass, we went to his house as he needed some quiet time before he actually went. We talked and talked and shared our insight on life. I tried to be a helpful friend to him, like he was a helpful friend to me after my Mother passed 13 years ago. Those are the things that bring you closer as friends and let you know who your brothers (and sisters) are regardless if you share the same DNA. Of course no one actually knows “what to say” but if your intentions are genuine and heartfelt, your positive energy can wrap around that person and hold them tight with very little to no words needed.
Later that night, all I could do was wonder how people would talk about and remember me at my funeral. Most importantly, how my daughter would feel about our relationship and who I was to her. I cannot lie, I want to be everything and then some to her. I want her to be so filled with joy when she thinks about who I was to her that she never has to wonder what love feels or looks like in it’s masculine form. When I’m long gone, I want her to look at her (future) kids, smile and see me in them the same way I see my mother in her and smile.
So today turned into a day of reflection. What are the things that I need to do to raise my daughter right? Will I prepare her enough to recognize “game” and reject the nonsense of the world today? Will I fill her with so much love and affection that it fosters her self esteem and security, even though society tells women that they are not equal. How much money will I be able to leave her? Will I be able to pay for her college? Will she become a bratty teenager and not want to be around Daddy anymore? Will she be proud to call me Daddy?
She is only a toddler now and in my head I know that I have a lot of time. However, time has wings and we never really seem to have as much time as we think we have. Before you know it, she’ll be asking to drive my car. Lord help me! 🙂
Ronn P ~ The Happy Daddy