Confession, I’ve always thought it was silly to spend your hard earned money on a trip to Disney World for a child who is too young to actually remember the experience. I’ve always felt the same way about having a birthday party for a kid who can barely say “Birthday”. That’s where Ravy’s Mom and I differ. She lives more in the moment and celebrating any and everything is important to her. I, on the other hand, am not cut from that cloth. Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-celebrations… I’m saying, I’m a DJ so that wouldn’t make any sense. However, what I am is super practical and I am always thinking about how my actions today will affect my future.
I would much rather put those hundreds of dollars in a college fund and watch it grow. I need to see results. Somehow, I never pictured spending money on something that the child will have no recollection of as an adult, as being smart. I need to see a better return on my investment. I’ve always been this way – fiscally conservative; maybe because we didn’t have very much money so the little bit I ever got I learned to stretch and make it last.
I remember my Mother giving me an allowance when I was a kid. I think it was only $2.50 a week but I would always deposit at least 50 cents into the savings account that my Mother opened up for me (at a local bank) when I was a child. I would also do whatever it took to preserve that allowance money and refused to spend it unless it was the last resort. I would save bottles and cans and cash them in before I would touch that allowance money. I even convinced my Mother to let me keep the “copper & silver” change whenever she sent me to the store to purchase something. To this day, I still put the change in a jar and usually collect over $120 in change every year.
I remember setting a goal of saving up to purchase the first pair of sneakers that I would pay for myself. I saved that allowance and “store change” for months! Then the day came when I had just enough saved… I can still feel the excitement of that day! My big sister Dyan and I hopped on the K bus and headed downtown to Herb’s Sports Shop, which at the time was located in back of the Civic Center. I purchased a nice pair of dark blue suede pumas with the white stripe; and even had enough money left to buy a pair of socks too. Not only was I happy to get those fresh new kicks (80’s lingo), I was proud that I purchased them with my own money and I had my bodyguard big sis with me so I knew that I would make it home safely with my purchase! Hey, the 80’s were tough!!
That taught me how to sacrifice and to save upfront so that when I do purchase something, I can fully enjoy it. There is nothing more annoying than charging something on your credit card and before you’re even halfway to paying it off, you are either past the euphoric stage of having it or it no longer works anymore! Things usually depreciate well before that last payment.
So Ravy’s 2nd birthday comes and of course her Mother wants to have a party for her. I wasn’t all for the Birthday party but I am not the Grinch either so I suck it up and go along – to get along. Now this is when LIFE has a funny way of throwing a monkey wrench into everything that you believe in… The day of her party, I wake up feeling refreshed which is NEVER the case for me. The Sun is shinning bright and this early April day actually feels like spring and not the dreadful cold winter that we’ve been experiencing. I have a little more pep in my step so I do some things around the house that I’ve been meaning to do for months. When it’s time, we head to the party location and I’m not feeling the anxiety that I usually have when I’m doing something that I don’t want to do. When we get there, my daughter grabs me by the hand and pulls me into the huge play area. Her JOY is so powerful while I’m running around with her as she is all over the place. She doesn’t realize that I’m not a young Daddy and nor should that matter, possible heart attack or pulled muscles be damned! I absolutely love to see her happy and it touches my heart. The rest of the kids were enjoying themselves as well and I even got to play a little bball with Caleb (Ravy’s big Brother) and that was fun too.
After a few hrs, “Party Dun (Done)” (as Auntie Jackie said) and we all pack up and hop in the van. We then stop to get frozen yogurt (my idea) to cap off the celebration. It was a good day (in my Ice Cube voice).
The power of going along – to get along will sometimes open you up for experiences or feelings that you would not have otherwise. That’s why when you actually give in sometimes (or compromise) you actually win. Sometimes being so rigid can block your blessings. Also, sometimes it’s good to live in the moment and to stop and smell the roses. I am usually in preparation mode so it’s not often that I get to enjoy the details of the day to day. So the party was definitely worth it, I’ll give J credit for that. However, I’m still not bringing a 2 year old to Disney! 😉
LOL…Ron, you’d be SURPRISED what a “2 year old” NOWADAYS commits and retains to MEMORY, and please be apprised of THIS tacit “Daddy’s Club” consideration: If it is WITHIN your capacity, YOUR responsibility is to CREATE experiences for the “little ones” and CAPTURE those moments so that the ENERGY of shared experiences can become FUEL for FOND MEMORIES (like THAT 2 Year Old birthday party you ABSORBED and SO APPRECIATED)
I USED to have the SAME beliefs about little biddy kiddies and the awesome experience and expense of a DISNEY vacation, and believe you me, the “awesome experiences” you can and will CREATE and PROVIDE will LONG outweigh any expense you’d have to pay to become a part of such “experiences”.
And to be HONEST, as a Dad having a “Daddy’s Girl” – “practicality” tends to get hurled out the window (with a tether-line attached to it, of course) when it comes down to playing a part in CREATING memories.
Invest in CREATING memories for them…because when it’s all said and done, at the END of the day when we have “moved on” to Ancestor-hood, heartfelt “MEMORIES” will be ALL that we’ll be able to LEAVE with THEM and TAKE with US…
So why NOT ENJOY the practicality of CREATING MEMORIES?
You’ll be SO GLAD that you DID. NAMASTE my Brutha! 🙂
True, a healthy balance is good.