One day (I think I was about 13) my Big Brother David bought me an alarm clock and set it that night. The next morning, I woke up a few minutes before the time the alarm was set to go off. I continued to do that for a week straight and realized that I didn’t need it so I turned it off and haven’t used an alarm clock since. 30+ years later and I still have that alarm clock; it’s the digital clock in my bedroom but I only use it to tell time. I’ve only overslept one time in my life but that was clearly for something that I wasn’t meant to go to.
The thing about being at home every day with a 2 year old is that I don’t have the time or opportunity to really focus on anything other than her needs (and wants). This means I can only focus on my own personal or business affairs late at night when she is asleep. Last Thursday was no different… On Thursday night, I was up all night working on some things as well as preparing for Friday’s all day DJ event – The Women In Business Annual Summit, held by Events of Joy (www.eventsofjoy.com). I had to be there by 7:30am which meant I had to get up at 6am. Typically, the events that I DJ are during the night and also my daughter never wakes up before 8:30am so my body is not accustomed to getting up that early. I didn’t complete my tasks until 3:30am and oddly enough, I had a weird feeling so I decided for the first time in over 30 years – to set the alarm (on my cell phone of course… it’s 2017!) I fell asleep (knocked out) and the next thing you know my daughter is screaming at the top of her lungs. J get’s up and tries to comfort her back to sleep but she is still screaming. Then I say something and she hears my voice and instantly plops down and goes back to sleep. It was 5:50am. I turned off the alarm and got up. A coincidence? Hmmm…
I’m up, now showered and dressed, the SUV is loaded up and I’m headed to my event. I arrive, unload and start setting up. Kisha Zullo, President of Events of Joy, leaves a program on my table. Once I’m all set up I read the program to get a vision of how the itinerary will go so I know how to channel the musical energy throughout the all day affair. While reading, I see that one of the speakers is Nelba Márquez-Greene. She is the mother of Ana Grace Márquez Greene who was one of the victims of the Sandy Hook tragedy but more importantly a beautiful young girl. I’ve heard good things about Nelba as we have a few friends in common but I have yet to meet her. She’s not scheduled to speak until the middle of the day.
All morning I’ve been DJ’n in between some great speeches by powerful women, each sharing their story. Now, It’s Nelba’s turn and I didn’t know what to expect but like everyone else, she had my full attention. I have to say… she was absolutely amazing! I will not try to repeat what she said as I could never do her story justice. However, I will say she tied in her social work/mental health background with her own story and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. The power, though, was in her ability to use the negative energy that came from that tragedy and turn it into positive energy. She is one bad Sister who has started a foundation and does many other things to battle societal issues while bringing joy to others. Please check out http://anagraceproject.org and donate/volunteer if you can. She is awesome and inspiring!
If you can turn a negative into a positive you actually win. That’s what I try to do in my life and being human, sometimes I’m successful, sometimes I’m not, and sometimes it takes me longer to get that success than it would for others but one has to live life on one’s own clock and not anyone else’s. When I was in my 20’s I started my own scholarship initiative in honor of my Mother and donated funds to help kids go to college. She was a strong advocate of education and I wanted to make sure her legacy was not primarily about how her disability hindered her physically, BUT how she was still able to inspire me to pursue education, despite the odds. Her legacy includes overcoming adversity and reaching back to help others.
That’s also what The Happy Daddy’s Club is all about. It’s a direct response to the individuals who had a bad perception of Fathers. I took that negative energy and turned it into fuel to help me change the narrative about Fathers and create a support group for Fathers to help us learn and grow.
Nelba Márquez-Greene has created a support group… that’s positive energy.
It helps to have your own support system that you can gain support and energy from. However, everyone isn’t equipped to give you the support that you need, even though they think they can or their intentions are good. Everyone has a certain type of energy around them and not all energy will complement yours. It’s a blessing to be able to have the support of people with whom your energy jells with… but you also have to be in a space where you can appreciate and accept that energy.
Being amazing is all about taking what most people will deem to be crushing or useless and turning it into something incredible. Think about it, most people would consider animal manure useless and would definitely hate to step in it. However, it’s a powerful fertilizer used in agriculture to grow vegetation that we all need for nutrition.
So will you let that negativity hold you down or will you use it as fertilizer for something amazing? Let the haters hate and fuel you to become great! I’m a firm believer that God will send you fertilizer and protection in all forms. It might be something that comes along and gives you a swift kick in the butt to redirect you or it could be your 2 year old who wakes you up so you don’t oversleep. The possibilities are endless… you just have to be open to them.
Ronn P ~ The Happy Daddy!