Prior to 2 years ago, I never knew when Father’s Day was. I actually only faintly remember knowing that there was even a Father’s Day… maybe 10 or so years ago. It was never a Holiday that I recognized or acknowledged. That’s because not only did I never have a relationship with my Father, but I actually never even met him. It was my Mother who raised me all by herself and I will always cherish her for her sacrifice and dedication to helping me be the person that I am today. That being said, this will NOT BE an ode to “Mother’s who do it all”. Mothers can never take the place of Fathers just like Fathers can never take the place of Mothers. And if anyone wants to celebrate Mothers (or Fathers) who do it all, then petition for a “Parents Who Do It All Without The Help Of The Trifling Other Parent’s Day!” I kid of course…
For me, now being a Father for the first time with a 2 year old, this day is one of the most important Holidays of the year. I’m not just saying that because now I feel included. I’m saying that because there is a different level of understanding that a man has when he becomes a Father. In most circumstances, men live our lives strictly focused on (and to satisfy) our wants and needs. Whether those wants and needs be emotional or physical. However, that absolute selfishness flies out the window as soon as a man lays his eyes on his child for the first time. That moment might be when he sees that ultrasound picture or it might be when he feels his baby kicking as he rubs the Mother’s belly.
In my case, I was instantly transformed the moment I saw my daughter’s head full of hair coming into this world. And if one doesn’t believe in a Higher Power then please tell me who (or what) else has the power to manipulate your emotions and empower you to love someone that you have just met, instantly? My heart melted immediately and from all accounts of other Fathers that I’ve talked to, the same thing happened to them. I know that I am not an anomaly and even if he doesn’t express it to you, know that most Father’s love their children with all their heart. Yes Fathers love their children as much as Mothers do.
So with that understanding I now REALLY value the role of the Father in a child’s life. I’m not saying that I never valued the role of a Father before, as I did. I’m saying there is a heightened awareness and transformation that happens when becoming a Father for the first time. That would include being a Step Father or Adopted Father as well, as it takes a special person to take on the physical, emotional and financial challenges of raising children who are not actually your biological children.
I’ve learned that this holiday is important because the role of the Father is important. To me, the role of the Father is to be the humble servant of the child including: being the child’s teacher, protector and provider; and also the first male who shows the child what Love looks like in it’s masculine form. That Love is the most important factor in the equation as when all else fails it’s that Love that will help to carry them through life and get them over the humps and bumps as they present themselves. Without that introduction to masculine Love in it’s purest and most honest form, so many people spend their whole life looking for it through other people and/or things. That’s my understanding and no one can tell me different. If I’m wrong, hey, the worst that can happen is that my children will have been spoiled! I’ll take those chances any day of the week!
Happy Daddy’s Day to all the Fathers out there who may or may not have recognized their potential as a Father. As long as you’re breathing, there’s still time my Brothers. I salute You!
Ronn P ~ The Happy Daddy